what if jealousy knocks in?


My day went well today, it's 4 in the morning, insomniac's saying hello again.. My day could have been all good except for this very second, im experiencing shortness of breath, that's what i exactly feel right now, as feeling anxious of what I would be reading next in this girl's blog which i accidentally bumped into. You know when my curiousity strikes, it itches me to do something (pronto ija!) to find answers to what my mind's cravings, and most of time I get want I want, and only then i'd feel ok (and calm).The blog looks familiar for I have seen it once but never read, and so here it goes.. I want to criticise how her dark blue background and white verdana fonts made my eyes sore, but that's not it, it's what's in her blog that made me read all her entries... it's a story of her daily life, her work, her moods, her girlfriends and her cat. But of course, her lovelife too. Who would'nt want to read something about someone else's love story,heh? She mentioned about her bestfriend and and ex-boyfriend, who are for her would-be the best guys for him but didnt end up to be. What caught my attention is her story with her bestfriend, for he have mentioned his name a couple of times..She have a bestfriend for 7 years, whom they have known each other very well. The guy know her more than anyone does. They dated once but it didnt work out, and as i have read on the previous posts, he cheated on her. oh well,im sorry, "men will always be polygamous" --- as all women said! LOL hahaha, trivia: I used to live in that shitty saying though, i was once a manhater (dont ask)... So they went back to being friends after some years. The girl's still single and dating, and the guy is engaged to marry, that I think from my deepest understanding between the lines, she is very jealous of..


"I've had feelings for him off and on quite a bit and he's told me the same...however...he is engaged to marry someone else and it kills me I guess b/c I never pictured him marrying anyone but me. The sad part is his parents love me and my dad loves him and they tell us often we should be the ones getting married.."



Her bestest friend is her soulmate, she said.For me that would be a perfect of all relationships, you know you're goin to marry your bestfriend and both parents would be very happy that they would end up together. You know how the deal with in-laws, if they dont like you for their son/daughter, you'd end up pleasing them, kissing thier ass if you have really have to. But look at her sitch, everything seems to be in a proper place. If Im the guy's fiance, id get jealous, id be wishing this and that for things to be easy. The guy's heart belongs to this girl whom he loves so much, I dont know if he loves or still likes his bestfriend, I doesnt say anything so on the blog..well if there is, sure she would have post it here and her girlfriends are now celebrating and might be drinking champagne for that. On one post she said, ".... but honestly as mcuh as I'd love for us to be together and we'd have everyone's blessing IF it were to happen I don't think it would work...as much as I believe deep down we are soul mates that were only meant to be friends....anything other than just wouldn't work....." Sure it is, love works two ways honey. You have to accept the fact that he's engaged and happy, and hoping the other way around will only cause you pain, a heartbreak..Been there, and it hurt me big time ..fell in love with a bestfriend, the feeling's mutual, we dated out, im so in love that i got blinded by the fact that his heart belongs to someone else (i hate the girl), but the difference is our love is right but in the wrong time as Barry Manilow quoted...

So, in a way I understand the girl blogger's feelings, she knew it wont work anyway though she's still hides some more-than-friends kind of love for him.. I wish I knew how much..wish i knew...

my heart's breaking after reading her notes, being away from the man you love is hard, you know missing him really bad everyday, and thinking about him occupies my mind most of the time. AND bumping unto her bestfriend's blog is not a joke, it made me wish that Im with my man already..I know it wont be long and we will be together.. but right now? YES, im jealous. and SHE owns the blog...

1 comments:

Lee-Jon said...

Hi I enjoyed your post and your blog, discovered it at a similar time while I was letting the hours roll by at 4am. Thought I'd post a comment this morning.

Keep it up!

 
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